The Rowan berries lie heavy,
Dipping the boughs in holy adoration
To the earth that bore them.
They glow like drops of blood on the brow,
Falling for new life, renewal.
Moved from the mountain-top,
Ashy marks of pointed finger
Burning accusations
Appear on the leaves;
Toothed groups of thirteen,
Twelve disciples paired, repaired,
And the One at the head
Borne and bruised for our revival.
Kittie Carr
Monday, August 28, 2006
"A Higher Calling."
Tree branches reach upward,
Lit with a golden glow
From the lamp of man’s approval
Like a choir’s halleluiahs,
Arms raised in praise
Pointing in worship
To their vision of the Creator.
Typed with the same call
Yet individually marked
With the stresses of existence,
Damaged but healed.
Kittie Carr
Lit with a golden glow
From the lamp of man’s approval
Like a choir’s halleluiahs,
Arms raised in praise
Pointing in worship
To their vision of the Creator.
Typed with the same call
Yet individually marked
With the stresses of existence,
Damaged but healed.
Kittie Carr
"The Silver Birch."
Superficially lit by inner light, but
Blotched snootily with sooty besmirched cuts
Marking its pain
With the translucent pink stains of washed-out blood.
Dark branches reaching out,
With delicate thorn-like twigs spiking.
Transparent leaves, tiny, shaky, trailing low despondently,
Its beauty tarnished by despair
Disregarding its promise.
Kittie Carr
Blotched snootily with sooty besmirched cuts
Marking its pain
With the translucent pink stains of washed-out blood.
Dark branches reaching out,
With delicate thorn-like twigs spiking.
Transparent leaves, tiny, shaky, trailing low despondently,
Its beauty tarnished by despair
Disregarding its promise.
Kittie Carr
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Dwelling on Imperfection
Another hard week...another death... more illness...I feel like the last little pig left at home when the other two have been devoured by the wolf... only it's at work instead of home..I've hardly seen home this week but I've already been attacked once by that wolf of circumstance...by two break-ins in the one night, a stolen/burnt out car...don't know which was worse, that or the lack of a night's sleep.... I really need my sleep!
However its not so bad...I will get a week off next week to recover. Noticeably anything I've written recently has lost its uplifting edge and has focused on the downside, observing our human difficulties and imperfections... I notice that even within the “norm” of relationships, difficulties abound, as will probably be seen in future poems. Perhaps rest will restore a more positive view by next month!
The words of the Chris Bowater song “Crown of Beauty”, and the lines “I could feast my eyes on imperfection” or I could see myself through God’s eyes with my “Crown of Beauty” caused me to question my focus. We can be redeemed from a life of imperfection, acceptable in His sight, enabled to call God Father if we accept Jesus as the one who came to save us. As was said last Sunday, we have the joy of knowing we are accepted just as we are, but need to balance that with the urge towards sanctification… conforming little by little to the image of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. Maybe its time to focus on something or someone more uplifting!
However its not so bad...I will get a week off next week to recover. Noticeably anything I've written recently has lost its uplifting edge and has focused on the downside, observing our human difficulties and imperfections... I notice that even within the “norm” of relationships, difficulties abound, as will probably be seen in future poems. Perhaps rest will restore a more positive view by next month!
The words of the Chris Bowater song “Crown of Beauty”, and the lines “I could feast my eyes on imperfection” or I could see myself through God’s eyes with my “Crown of Beauty” caused me to question my focus. We can be redeemed from a life of imperfection, acceptable in His sight, enabled to call God Father if we accept Jesus as the one who came to save us. As was said last Sunday, we have the joy of knowing we are accepted just as we are, but need to balance that with the urge towards sanctification… conforming little by little to the image of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. Maybe its time to focus on something or someone more uplifting!
Thursday, August 17, 2006
"Damaged Goods."
I’m diseased – ease me;
Medic me, mend me, repair me.
My cells are corrupted;
Cut me, burn me, cure me.
My virus makes me crash;
Reboot me, reconstruct me.
I’ve a hole in my heart – fill me;
My desires are hotly burning,
My hell is coldly dominating;
Cool me down,
Freeze me out,
Subdue my two-way pain.
I’m lost in this deep dark pit,
Despised, rejected, bruised by shame;
Subject me to change,
Raise me, remake me, help me fit.
Kittie Carr
Medic me, mend me, repair me.
My cells are corrupted;
Cut me, burn me, cure me.
My virus makes me crash;
Reboot me, reconstruct me.
I’ve a hole in my heart – fill me;
My desires are hotly burning,
My hell is coldly dominating;
Cool me down,
Freeze me out,
Subdue my two-way pain.
I’m lost in this deep dark pit,
Despised, rejected, bruised by shame;
Subject me to change,
Raise me, remake me, help me fit.
Kittie Carr
Dealing With Imperfection.
Imperfect Bodies.
I’ve been thinking about our desire for perfection and our quick but expensive fixes….face lifts or a nose job to fit us into our image of symmetrical beauty and balance; stomach-tucks to improve our appearance, make us appear fitter and overcome our emotional need to eat for comfort. So many people don’t like the package they were given or what they do to it. But none of us is perfect, in body, mind or emotionally. We have all wanted to be different at some stage of life, in the best case scenario, to be more like Jesus.
Sometimes it’s not so simple. Sometimes our bodies don’t develop properly, like the conjoined twins who need a complicated operation, and will have to share their limbs and organs if they survive; like the child with an extra chromosome, who will need extra care all their life or the child with an extra sensitivity to everyday substances or irregular brain patterns who will need daily medication to live a “normal” life. All of these abnormalities arouse feelings of tender compassion in those who know and love them and even in strangers, moving us beyond selfishness…. Rather like the Father’s love for us, despite our weaknesses. Is this because we feel it’s not their fault; we can’t blame them? They’re victims of circumstance, just like us, trapped in the inevitability of our shared history of the “not quite right”, the unrighteous, the legacy of the corruption of sin.
Imperfect Feelings.
What about someone whose mental or emotional instability causes them to act antisocially? We don’t lock them up for long anymore, we stabilise them and send them back out into society, with appropriate support. Even paedophiles who bring harm to the innocent are separated from society for a relatively short time. The doors are open for everyone to experience as full, as “normal”, a life as possible, through overcoming their particular problems, whether self-inflicted or caused by circumstance.
What about transexuals, those who feel they belong in a different body, whose sex has been confused as they have attributes of both sexes? Do we blame them? Do we treat them like ye old circus freak show? Do we consider their confusion? Do we try to understand?
Then there are those who deliberately choose to portray themselves as a member of the opposite sex either in dress or in action because emotionally they have desires to be treated as such? Is that perversion, an imbalance of hormones, or a person who has been emotionally damaged in their childhood? Can we judge the transvestite or homosexual? We have not felt their pain.
All deviance from the original man created in God’s image are the results of sin, man’s selfishness compounded since Adam when we first put our own desires before those of God. All of us are imperfect, but we accept minor transgressions as the norm. Those outside the norm can be cured, controlled or tolerated. We use mockery or political correctness as weapons to deal with our issues with those who cause us no harm, but make us feel uncomfortable because they are different. Let us remember that we all want our own way, that we all will have issues to battle, feelings to overcome. “All have sinned and fallen short”. “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone”. Love the sinner even while you detest the sin, and enable each other to overcome.
Imperfect Wills.
What of those who celebrate their difference, who form a culture of it? We don’t want a thief to revel in his dishonesty but to repent and turn from that life style, because he has a choice, of whether or not he thrives on others' misfortune. Special Olympics celebrate the abilities of those with special needs on an equal playing field, not their problems. But Gay Pride celebrates their sexuality, their difference from the norm. Why do people choose to limit their identity to one aspect of themselves anyhow? We are more than any box we choose to put ourselves or others into, whether its sexual preference, job or however we identify with a label. I don’t believe any gay person was ever glad they were different when they first suspected they were attracted to the same sex, but rather fought against it. If they came to terms with it, it was because they thought there was no choice if they wanted to find happiness, and they numbed their conscience. No heterosexual person was ever glad to find themselves in love with a married person. But there is a choice for both. Take the forbidden fruit and the consequences, or turn your back on temptation and walk away from it. Take yourself out of the fire, or you will get burned.
No-one has to remain a victim of their circumstances, help is available to strengthen you to withstand, to understand. Read “Pursuing Sexual Wholeness” by Andrew Comiskey,[IBSN1-85424-115X] if you don’t believe that. If you do fall, get up, move away from the danger zone and try again. But don’t celebrate the fact that you’re a sinner, unless you want to spit in the face of God and give honour to Satan.
I’ve been thinking about our desire for perfection and our quick but expensive fixes….face lifts or a nose job to fit us into our image of symmetrical beauty and balance; stomach-tucks to improve our appearance, make us appear fitter and overcome our emotional need to eat for comfort. So many people don’t like the package they were given or what they do to it. But none of us is perfect, in body, mind or emotionally. We have all wanted to be different at some stage of life, in the best case scenario, to be more like Jesus.
Sometimes it’s not so simple. Sometimes our bodies don’t develop properly, like the conjoined twins who need a complicated operation, and will have to share their limbs and organs if they survive; like the child with an extra chromosome, who will need extra care all their life or the child with an extra sensitivity to everyday substances or irregular brain patterns who will need daily medication to live a “normal” life. All of these abnormalities arouse feelings of tender compassion in those who know and love them and even in strangers, moving us beyond selfishness…. Rather like the Father’s love for us, despite our weaknesses. Is this because we feel it’s not their fault; we can’t blame them? They’re victims of circumstance, just like us, trapped in the inevitability of our shared history of the “not quite right”, the unrighteous, the legacy of the corruption of sin.
Imperfect Feelings.
What about someone whose mental or emotional instability causes them to act antisocially? We don’t lock them up for long anymore, we stabilise them and send them back out into society, with appropriate support. Even paedophiles who bring harm to the innocent are separated from society for a relatively short time. The doors are open for everyone to experience as full, as “normal”, a life as possible, through overcoming their particular problems, whether self-inflicted or caused by circumstance.
What about transexuals, those who feel they belong in a different body, whose sex has been confused as they have attributes of both sexes? Do we blame them? Do we treat them like ye old circus freak show? Do we consider their confusion? Do we try to understand?
Then there are those who deliberately choose to portray themselves as a member of the opposite sex either in dress or in action because emotionally they have desires to be treated as such? Is that perversion, an imbalance of hormones, or a person who has been emotionally damaged in their childhood? Can we judge the transvestite or homosexual? We have not felt their pain.
All deviance from the original man created in God’s image are the results of sin, man’s selfishness compounded since Adam when we first put our own desires before those of God. All of us are imperfect, but we accept minor transgressions as the norm. Those outside the norm can be cured, controlled or tolerated. We use mockery or political correctness as weapons to deal with our issues with those who cause us no harm, but make us feel uncomfortable because they are different. Let us remember that we all want our own way, that we all will have issues to battle, feelings to overcome. “All have sinned and fallen short”. “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone”. Love the sinner even while you detest the sin, and enable each other to overcome.
Imperfect Wills.
What of those who celebrate their difference, who form a culture of it? We don’t want a thief to revel in his dishonesty but to repent and turn from that life style, because he has a choice, of whether or not he thrives on others' misfortune. Special Olympics celebrate the abilities of those with special needs on an equal playing field, not their problems. But Gay Pride celebrates their sexuality, their difference from the norm. Why do people choose to limit their identity to one aspect of themselves anyhow? We are more than any box we choose to put ourselves or others into, whether its sexual preference, job or however we identify with a label. I don’t believe any gay person was ever glad they were different when they first suspected they were attracted to the same sex, but rather fought against it. If they came to terms with it, it was because they thought there was no choice if they wanted to find happiness, and they numbed their conscience. No heterosexual person was ever glad to find themselves in love with a married person. But there is a choice for both. Take the forbidden fruit and the consequences, or turn your back on temptation and walk away from it. Take yourself out of the fire, or you will get burned.
No-one has to remain a victim of their circumstances, help is available to strengthen you to withstand, to understand. Read “Pursuing Sexual Wholeness” by Andrew Comiskey,[IBSN1-85424-115X] if you don’t believe that. If you do fall, get up, move away from the danger zone and try again. But don’t celebrate the fact that you’re a sinner, unless you want to spit in the face of God and give honour to Satan.
Monday, August 14, 2006
"What Choice Do We Have?"
Do we accept illness and death,
Do we accept the thief in our midst,
Stealing the days we thought were ours for sure,
Pulling on that veil of mist?
Aware only of confusion and loss,
Direction is sorely missed.
So do we pray to be passed over
By the shadow of death when it comes?
Or praying for forgiveness, totally bereft,
Lay ourselves down, Your will to be done?
With Your peace and acceptance, we can endure
Till the moment You call us home.
Kittie Carr
Do we accept the thief in our midst,
Stealing the days we thought were ours for sure,
Pulling on that veil of mist?
Aware only of confusion and loss,
Direction is sorely missed.
So do we pray to be passed over
By the shadow of death when it comes?
Or praying for forgiveness, totally bereft,
Lay ourselves down, Your will to be done?
With Your peace and acceptance, we can endure
Till the moment You call us home.
Kittie Carr
Prayer in the Face of Death.
Death has been all around from this last week – In the news a young golfer’s wife joined my dear caustic friend twice her age who both suffered for the second time from the same cause, breast cancer. The son of a dear friend who fought a tumour and eventually lost the battle to cling to life and a very independent elderly lady who coped with a large disfiguring growth on the side of her neck for decades, but died having developed dementia in her final years. A mother and a wife of friends are both waiting to shrug off this mortal coil, both cancer victims, time almost up.
I remember fervent prayers being said for another young man with a brain tumour some years ago, who survived with a reminder of how close he had come, and I wonder did the call to prayer come from our desire for healing, from our love for this family, or from God’s call on our hearts to use this person to demonstrate His power. Not everyone is healed, not even Jesus did a blanket “one size fits all,” but picked individuals except in the case of the group of ten lepers, where only one came back to thank Him, and that obviously was to show us just how ungrateful we can be, how blessings are so easily forgotten, taken for granted. However, later Peter seemed to do even more, even his shadow was thought to heal people...and the Bible did state that those coming after would do even greater exploits...
I know I have felt led to pray for some for a period, so they are given more time, time to make their peace with God and man, and then the call leaves, and they relapse and are released into eternal rest. Should I feel blame because I have slacked on the job? There is no point praying when you sense your desire is out of God’s will – while He regrets sickness and death, it is inevitable in this fallen world corrupted by man’s putting his own way before God’s. We have to trust His promise that He will bring good out of evil, He who demonstrated His love through suffering. We all have our allotted span, and although our fervency and motives may cause Him to give more time occasionally, it is not universal – or is it? Miraculous healings are taking place today in countries which suffer persecution for their faith in vast numbers – the sign of God’s power is needed there as a witness to others and encouragement to the afflicted. So our self-reliance, our apathy, our complacency, our lack of expectation all dull the edgy need for demonstration.
Yet in time of trouble, the vast majority of people appreciate prayer –even the Reader’s Digest says its works! Prayer does not have to be a demand to change our circumstances, but to enable us to cope with the inevitable, to help us accept His will, no matter what. Then His kingdom can truly come!
I remember fervent prayers being said for another young man with a brain tumour some years ago, who survived with a reminder of how close he had come, and I wonder did the call to prayer come from our desire for healing, from our love for this family, or from God’s call on our hearts to use this person to demonstrate His power. Not everyone is healed, not even Jesus did a blanket “one size fits all,” but picked individuals except in the case of the group of ten lepers, where only one came back to thank Him, and that obviously was to show us just how ungrateful we can be, how blessings are so easily forgotten, taken for granted. However, later Peter seemed to do even more, even his shadow was thought to heal people...and the Bible did state that those coming after would do even greater exploits...
I know I have felt led to pray for some for a period, so they are given more time, time to make their peace with God and man, and then the call leaves, and they relapse and are released into eternal rest. Should I feel blame because I have slacked on the job? There is no point praying when you sense your desire is out of God’s will – while He regrets sickness and death, it is inevitable in this fallen world corrupted by man’s putting his own way before God’s. We have to trust His promise that He will bring good out of evil, He who demonstrated His love through suffering. We all have our allotted span, and although our fervency and motives may cause Him to give more time occasionally, it is not universal – or is it? Miraculous healings are taking place today in countries which suffer persecution for their faith in vast numbers – the sign of God’s power is needed there as a witness to others and encouragement to the afflicted. So our self-reliance, our apathy, our complacency, our lack of expectation all dull the edgy need for demonstration.
Yet in time of trouble, the vast majority of people appreciate prayer –even the Reader’s Digest says its works! Prayer does not have to be a demand to change our circumstances, but to enable us to cope with the inevitable, to help us accept His will, no matter what. Then His kingdom can truly come!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
"Joy’s Ladyboys."
Spot the Ladybirds of cheer
Humping along,
Tightly carrying baggage that encloses
Scurrying everyway but forward.
To and fro
Painted to attract.
Sold to highest bidder,
They come,
Swooping down,
Picking, stripping
And impaling till life is snuffed.
Attracted yet repulsed
The addictive poison
Consumed.
Disease to the consumer,
Death by Consumption.
Kittie Carr
Humping along,
Tightly carrying baggage that encloses
Scurrying everyway but forward.
To and fro
Painted to attract.
Sold to highest bidder,
They come,
Swooping down,
Picking, stripping
And impaling till life is snuffed.
Attracted yet repulsed
The addictive poison
Consumed.
Disease to the consumer,
Death by Consumption.
Kittie Carr
"Swaning Around."
Gilded swans
Coast ghostly
In the night air.
Haughty yet demure
A question of contradiction.
Beadily watchful
Bending greedily for crumbs
Making do
While truth swims by, unseen.
Ladies of the night.
Painted beauty glowing darkly
But cold glowering hearts
Viciously oust outsiders,
Territorial while they mark their patch.
Daylight reveals their truth
Bedraggled, muck encrusted wings,
Flea infected, lice-ridden to death
They hang their heads, wearily, deflated.
Who will wash them clean again?
Only He who first placed them here;
Wrong choices made, a challenge failed,
Yet they can be renewed, snowy white
If they only release themselves from their captivity
Into His care.
Kittie Carr
Coast ghostly
In the night air.
Haughty yet demure
A question of contradiction.
Beadily watchful
Bending greedily for crumbs
Making do
While truth swims by, unseen.
Ladies of the night.
Painted beauty glowing darkly
But cold glowering hearts
Viciously oust outsiders,
Territorial while they mark their patch.
Daylight reveals their truth
Bedraggled, muck encrusted wings,
Flea infected, lice-ridden to death
They hang their heads, wearily, deflated.
Who will wash them clean again?
Only He who first placed them here;
Wrong choices made, a challenge failed,
Yet they can be renewed, snowy white
If they only release themselves from their captivity
Into His care.
Kittie Carr
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